40 & Feral

Well, I am 40.

That happened fast.

What 10-years-ago-me thought 40 would look like: Thriving in my career. Home ownership. Retirement planning. In a long term relationship.

What my 40 actually looks like:

Jobless and without a home (by choice), living fully feral, all of my belongings in 4 oversized totes in my friends’ attic and the 42L backpack I carry, dating around the world and in a very non-traditional relationship

This life is not what I expected in any way, shape or form, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.

If it had worked out the way I thought it was going to, I would not have celebrated this new decade with an amazing new friend from Germany with a brunch in Lisbon. I would not have blown out a candle in my Portuguese pastry with my partner. Wouldn’t have shared a 12 beer tasting flight with another new friend from Toronto in Lisbon.

If I had stuck to my “____ by 40” goals, I would not have received texts and calls from some of the most beautiful, brave, bold, and kind people I have met around the world, from around the world.

Had those plans come to fruition, I would not have celebrated in Berlin with my best friend from NYC and my good friend from Paris who I met in Portugal 3 years ago, and her brother.

40 is not what I expected, but what it is not is: boring, lonely, without success, without love, unfulfilling.

What it is is: unexpected, joyful, full of laughter, adventurous, filled with love and community from the most unexpected people and places.

It took me a long time to get here (literal and metaphorical "here"), but oh what a journey it has been.

There are days I question every decision, every step, every everything, but then I remind myself; there is no right or wrong time or way to live this life.

There will always be naysayers and judgers and killjoys, but…

Whether you are a weekend wanderer, a full time traveler, 20something on a gap year, waiting for the kids to be grown and out of the house, a solo traveler, a partner traveler, group traveler, honeymooning, saving for the trip of a lifetime, a budget backpacker, a retired grandmother, 40 and feral, or anywhere in between: it is the right time.

Cheers to 40 years